A letter of admiration

Gary Cook
Chief Executive
Manchester City Football Club

Dear Mr. Cook,

Me and my housemate live a mere half a mile from the City of Manchester stadium. For the past couple of months, during our weekly sojourn to ASDA, we have felt nothing but immense pride at the sight of the slogan ‘Pride in Battle’ which is emblazoned on the side of your stadium, or should I say ‘Theatre of War’.

When battle commences we can often hear through our window the sound of the massed ranks cheering on your heroic gladiators as they engage with the enemy. It was during one such skirmish the other week (I think it was against those dastardly axis powers, Manchester United), that I found myself watching a documentary about the Second World War. Some chap was talking about his experiences at the ‘Battle’ of Iwo Jima in 1945 (I do, of course, use the term ‘Battle’ in the loosest possible sense). He was commenting of the plight of US Marines engaged in fighting with Japanese troops and I must say I felt sorry for the poor man. He was moved to tears and I thought to myself, ‘look old man, this dilly-dallying in the Pacific does not constitute what I would call a ‘battle’. He clearly has never seen your brave fellows, Robinho and the like, engaged in battle week after week with General Mark Hughes, risking life and limb for literally pennies.

This is when I realised that there is something very wrong at the heart of our ‘broken society’. Ghurkhas receive Victoria Crosses for fannying about in Malaya in the 1960s or whenever and I’m like ‘look! Who cares, the glorious troops of Manchester City football club take pride in battle week after week and it’s not as if it’s about a few palm trees in fuzzy-wuzzy land. This is football and it’s football that matters.

Take for example the recent war in Afghanistan. I read this week that if you lose an eye in ‘combat’ you are entitled to about £45,000 in compensation from the MoD. Some people have complained about this so-called ‘meagre’ sum of money compared to, for example, footballer’s wages. Again, they miss the point. The abuse from fans that your players receive, not to mention the rigorous training they need to complete (‘Pride in Battle’ requires a great deal of preparation) makes the British army’s scraps with rag-heads in Afghanistan look like a storm in a teacup.

So, all in all I just want to say that I am extremely supportive of your slogan ‘Pride in Battle’. I think it neatly encapsulates the struggles that take place both in East Manchester and during your recent offensives in Europe. I think it is time that the Great British public accepted you all for who you are - namely national heroes, the likes of which our soldiers past and present could only dream of emulating.

I am, Sir, your obedient servant,

S. A. R. Chasm